Catching flows


Once, I was a ferry,

covered in fresh paint and oiled mechanisms

and I was not this sinking ship,

Thrown back by my passengers and owners,

who I used to move forward on their daily trips


Once, I carried, and  sailed over the river,

wasn’t stuck like this on the shore

And now I’m rotting away and

I don’t know where I belong or what to do anymore.


The sunrise and the carcas

On a certain evening, I found myself on a trainride. A trainride through endless fields, along a canal, along a lake. Through the fields of nothingness. There is not much going on ; it’s just there. The part where the lake is is where the most of some life cycles are visible. A few swans found a place to live there, sometimes sheep are walking around, ducks, geese, herons. But I like the swans the most. White swans, and black swans. Some of them found a buddy to live. A few others seem to be alone. Sometimes they are swimming, a few times I saw them with a nest just sitting, and sometimes, they wander around alone, with a head down. When I see a swan with a head down, it always gives me some melancholic feelings in a way, and I wonder if the swan feels lonely or sad.

Suddenly my focus moves; everlong by the foo fighters is playing on my mp3 player. Carefully, I check my surroundings again. This time, the train is not crowded at all, just a couple of people. No one says a word, no one is on the phone. A man reads the newspaper, a woman sits with her dog and is reading a magazine, and another guy seems to be napping while leaning against his backpack. I seem to be the only one who is analyzing and scanning the area. Not sure why I do that, but often I take a look around me just to inspect my surroundings.  Carefully, like a ninja: Invisible, discrete, and empty. Like I move in real life too. I could be invisible, because no one will really notice me. I’m a nobody, an empty shell.

I’m staring outside the window, into the endless fields. The sun is going down, and the colors in the sky are turning red/pink/yellow/blue. Ten more minutes before the skyline of the city will be in my view. When I turn my head, towards the shipyard area, I look, turn my head and immediatly look back again.

I see two ships. Sunrise, and the nameless carcas. The Sunrise is being built, it seems that they just painted the ship in a fresh red paint. The name Sunrise arises in white letters. It’s not finished yet, but it won’t take much time that it will float and sails. I wonder if it will just sail on canals or out to the oceans as well. Next to the sunrise, there is this carcas. The contrast is beautiful. The perfect, and the forgotten.

I wonder what will become of this carcas: nameless, empty body of steel. And for a moment, it feels like I am that carcas.