The way through

trees

The big mighty trees,

rising above everything,

untouchable

but they are the way to the dream.

 

Ever changing colors,

But positions solid as solid can be,

where I’m the unstable factor,

and leaves fall unseen.

 

I ask for their forgiveness

I ask for help to be,

I ask them the final question,

but they don’t

answer me.

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We are all ghosts

sometimes fog clears up between mountains,

sometimes rain falls down in deserts,

ghost towns seem abandoned but

sometimes there’s life in a corner

maybe it’s not exactly what you’re looking for.

others

will they find it?

will they grasp it?

will they sense it?

 

Where the orange trees standing in rows waiting

for a party to start but

there wasn’t any announcement

and there hasn’t been a dragonfly since ages

 

and the smoke between the air and your lips

wanders around the globe endlessly

aimlessly

and then there’s the point

where it all started

 

In_visible

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So many people, but too many to see me.

Though I’m there, and I’m here, or something in between

not really where I want to be.

out of nothing attacks of fear,

and as being blind and being able to see.

and everything is a mess, and everything is clear.

 

Heartbeat – beating, beating – feeling the movements too well

I am here, but frozen, – turned into a statue

And I feel paralysed for a while, but there is no way I can tell

the world around is sometimes so frightening

that I feel trapped inside a spell.

heartless

No, I don’t want to wake up

No, I don’t want to face the world,

No, I don’t want to be alive,

Because everything is cold.

 

Once, I used to have hopes

I used to have dreams

But it was all erased,

There is nothing to raise for

anymore

and a heart can

never

never

be replaced.

What you see and what you can’t see

When the sun dies inside a heart

and the sky is upside down

in the black side of space,

but where grass meets the soil

and where sea corals hide in rocks,

There are answers.

Though I can’t promise, they are satisfying

Anyway, where dark fishes sleep, there is movement on the bottom of the sea.

 

The Switch

For a long time now, I guess I am feeling the way I feel and I kind of dysfunction. I survive. Or at least, try to. Hope and give up. Fight and lose. Fight and try. Fall back. Get up. Fall back. Get up. Fighting against these hurricanes inside my head and heart. Hurricanes who want to tear everything apart. Boxing against this circle which never seems to break. My fists getting slowly injured.

Once, for a very long time before, I was a robot, a machine. No feelings. Just doing what was expected from me. Numb. Always trying or failing things in a way that I would remain invisible and silent, and not attract any form of attention. And I succeeded pretty well in that. Often, I gave false answers or did not say what I actually had to say, or thought, just not to put attention on me. Being invisible, seemed the best, and the safest.

But that machine broke down at a particular day. Just by one simple question someone asked me:

” How are you doing, and I mean by that, how are you really doing?”

*CRASH*