My fortune is freedom

No one yelling, no one trying to make the most profits without being honest,
No pushing and screaming, no mean words,
No rushing and the fight to always be the best and on top.
No rat race, no fighting about a place, or a right to exist,
No war just to have your own little space, warmth, food, and such.

I wish it wasn’t this way, but it seems to get just more and more,
So I run away sometimes, to a place where those things don’t want to be.

There is just silence, the stories of nature and the rain.
The sun and the moon and the stars
Animals, plants, easy and rough terrain.

There, I find peace in myself, and peace with the world.
It’s still not easy, but I won’t regret
You see, that is my world that is hidden from the rest,
The one that keeps me sane.

I just wish, that that was the world I would live in

Every single day.

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I wish the sky was upside down

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The trees salute to the sky
Clouds rumble down
The sun kisses space
And all that could have been erased
There is nothing to be,
And leaving for free
Sandstorms and dust
No bird to be seen.

 

 

Looking forward

Next to the dull, nothing saying life that I lead at the moment there is a small twinkle in my heart.

Last week I got some holiday time approved at work. Yesterday I booked a flight to France. I have two weeks off, and I leave the day after work ends and I return the day before work starts again. I want to have the maximum time abroad. I really look forward to see my love again and to go abroad and be in the mountains and discover new places. Being on the road.

We will go together, she will have her new place to live, I will see a new city, a place she loves to be. It’s close to mountains too, which is perfect. We will go on a roadtrip together, which I’m really looking forward too. We plan to go to Andorra, and maybe Spain too. I always have wanted to go to Andorra, but somehow it never came that far. This year it seems to be close; though I haven’t really planned this – I planned a lot of other things I wanted to see, but this was not even in the top five I guess. I don’t mind. It’s perfect. I’ll be with my love, we will see great places, new places, I’ll see her city, and we’ll have a roadtrip together. It can’t be better than that. I am happy with this knowlegde that this will happen in less than a month.

For one of the very less times i can really say that:

I’M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING!

a careless summer

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It was a summer, not so long ago, but almost far away in vague memories. A bright blue sky, the sun still on it’s way to the top. A light breeze made the trees dance – everything looked peaceful, as if nothing bad in the world existed. Little insects danced on the water, dragonflies seemed busy with something I didn’t understand. I watched the water fall down and listened to the sound, while I took sips of the cappucino I ordered. This place was extraordinary, though it didn’t look that way.¬† The terrace was empty – I was the only customer. I stared into the distance, where the town lay in the canyon. This place, was the place, where I felt careless just for the moment.

The chicken in the mud

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Behind the fence, a bunch of animals live. They are there since a long time, they were there before I was even aware of the place. There are ducks, chickens, goats, and deers to be found. In the past I saw rabbits too, but they have completely dissapeared. As well for a while there used to be black swans to, but they moved a couple of months ago to a better place because their living area was under construction.

Why exactly these animals are kept there I’m not sure, all I can guess is that it makes the environment and the neighbourhood nicer. Or that that was the idea behind it. To educate children about animals maybe. I’m not sure – you can’t enter the place.

I like animals, so I don’t mind them being here. Though there is something that makes me a bit annoyed, but that hasn’t anything to do with the animals themselves; but with their living situation. About a year ago, the municipality cut all the trees, and now there are no trees left. A part of the area is just muddy, and this is always in especially autumns and winters. I don’t know why it bothers me, but it bothers me. Give them some proper place, not this muddy, open space without trees. They have an old, wooden building where they can go for shelter. They are fed regularly, and people from the neighbourhood take care of them too; they watch their health and the animals recognize people; when I walk towards them with some apples or bread or whatever vegetable leftovers, they walk towards me before I’m even there.

I just wonder what the ideas and visions about this are. Probably I’m the only one, or at least one of the very less, who asks all these questions about this, but you won’t get real answers. Or the answer “they were already there and there’s no money for that available’ should be satisfying. But what kind of answers are that? Because it was already there, means that we should not question?

In the rain, I walked by. The deers and goats were inside the shelter. And there was one chicken in the rain. A bright, clean white chicken. The star of the pouring rain. I stopped for a minute, stood behind the fence, and for a little while, I felt the prisoner. The chicken looked¬† at me, probably if I had anything nice to snatch from me, but I didn’t have anything.

The white chicken seemed happy, strolling along through the mud and the rain.

And I was the one who was not fenced, but felt prisoned.

The way to freedom

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Hard work and no mercy,

inflating with air, inflating inflating.

and finally enough to rise

so you take off,

on the way to freedom,

the way to be yourself,

to be free, to search for peace of mind.

 

But reality learns the hardest lessons, there is no mercy

sometimes your preparations aren’t enough,

no matter how hard you work, or how hard you try.

The possibility of getting captured,

and unanswered questions of why –

where dark clouds can come over, the wind changes direction without a warning sign

there is always something you can not control.

 

so sometimes that means that

sometimes you might get stuck

and you might have to change your plan

sometimes you might have to wait

or might have to figure out

how to get out of the maze

even if it’s not a maze

that trapped you.