Broken charcoal

pieces of charcoal spread all over the table

several pieces of paper waiting for the disclosure of their destinations

where I started to draw and added gradients in coloring techniques.

but no matter what, the charcoal kept breaking

I took a sip of water, and finished the drawings with my eraser.

Reset.

Driving on a freeway, radio switched on, a blank mind, no, I never think about you.

Running on the treadmill, and running and running, but my mind never visits thoughts about you.

If I turn on my computer, and all these pictures, drawings, writings and pieces appear, but I never recall thoughts that lead to you.

A song playing on the radio. Partial perfect lyrics. Can not and should not make me think of you. It doesn’t. It doesn’t.

still….

I’m trying to deal. I’m trying to forget.

Wishing I could erase my feelings. Wishing I could erase my memory.

How could I be so stupid? How could I ever believe? How could I ever let this happen? How could I ever think that….

Pressing reset. And again. And again. And again.

just nothing happened.