I wish the sky was upside down

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The trees salute to the sky
Clouds rumble down
The sun kisses space
And all that could have been erased
There is nothing to be,
And leaving for free
Sandstorms and dust
No bird to be seen.

 

 

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Captured sun

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Can you imagine:

a sun, clear blue skies

grass without snow,

suddenly flies

away.

 

One more second

is one too late to grasp

a sudden shock

is what lasts

 

And finally

my words will say

that where I could find

that’s no more game.

 

And you can decide

what your answer is.

run down

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breathe.slowly. breathe, breathe.

Another heartbeat. Another useless heartbeat.

The air I breathe, is never enough. It’s the same – and never different anyway.

One step, another foot before the other one. But it’s never enough to get to the safe place.

It’s never enough.

Is it true, that I can not face?

 

The world trembles and feels like an earthquake,

but the world is standing still.

Out of reach –

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You see, the future. But you don’t feel it. You can’t.

You once hoped. But you don’t hope anymore. You can’t.

You once tried to fight. But you just go with the flow now. Because it feels like the only managable option.

You see beauty in the destroyed. You see pain in the destroyed.

The conflicts, the everlasting conflicts.

You know. You feel. But you don’t really know.

You see peace in the abandoned. You feel peace in the abandoned.

But you can not grasp it.

You can’t.

You just can not.

 

Distant sun.

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There it is. The sun. It’s morning, I woke up an hour ago, had breakfast and made a persimmon smoothie. Almost a miracle, because I prefer to stay in bed and sleep.

The world is beautiful and ugly at the same time.

I want to go out and never go out at the same time.

I see the sun, it looks beautiful, but at the same time, it’s too distant, and I can’t get myself to enjoy it, or go out, and experience it.

Everything is full of contradictions.

I stare outside through the window. Slowly the world comes alive, even on a sunday. In the corner of my room, there’s my longboard. Unused, for quite a while. I still like it though. I don’t use it, because I’m not that good, and people here look. It’s not a reason,  yet it’s the perfect reason not do to it. Why is that so difficult, just to go out and ignore everything around and just enjoy?

Practice means getting better. Exercise means better in shape.

I’ve been gaining weight I think, since lately I haven’t moved much, though my wish was to exercise more, and have more move moments. I guess that failed.Something’s locking me up.

I should go out. I.

Should.

Go.

where it is, and where it’s not –

Can you see,

inside my eyes?

Where truth battles

with lonely fights

 

of life, of hope, of trust, of soul,

where all can find

nothing in an empty hole

 

where spins a world

that is not even upside down

 

and where paradise

can make you

d(r)own.