Trying something new

So far, in all these years of my life and its usual issues like depression, I sticked to the common things as medication, psychologists, psychiatrists and nurses and stuff like that. I don’t think or expect ever to get rid of it, but as time goes by and it keeps coming back,  I’m sometimes tired of everything.

Not long ago I came across a book (What Doesn’t Kill Us: How Freezing Water, Extreme Altitude and Environmental Conditioning will Renew our Lost Evolutionary Strength by Scott Carney). I found it interesting so I bought the book and started reading it.

Because of this, my previous experiences with outdoor & survival trips I did myself (similar principles I would say, it’s not the same but has similarities) and reading stuff about this Dutch guy Wim Hof (also known as the iceman) and his method I thought this would be worth a try. Basically it’s based on three pillars: Cold, Breathing and Commitment. I’m not going to explain this very much here, it’s better to read it on the website because all the info is there and I’m just a beginnner and newbie in all of it.

I’ve been reading about people using this method for physical and mental health improving and it’s just interesting so I thought I could try some of it myself and test it.

So far I did very less of the breathing, but started with cold showers (or end showers cold, I should say).  I don’t know yet if I can really say or notice changes yet, I just try to test it. And after a while I’ll try to give an update about it.

Also, I started to train a little bit with my recently bought indoboard, to train my balance. That is way easier said than done. I struggle with my balance and I don’t seem to have a lot of strenght in my legs if I have to believe the instructionposter. But I’m trying, to improve stuff. I’m just trying….

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Facing facts

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Last week, there was a lot of time to think. I had a hard time with work, since my jaw hurted pretty badly from my dental surgery. It still does, actually. Friday I really tried, but I had to call in sick during the afternoon. I just couldn’t stay there anymore.

Somehow I slept a lot during the week, 10 hours a day is nothing. I don’t know if that’s because of the tooth, of something else too. I feel that I tend to depression again, but I’m doing what I can.

Yet, I know I don’t do enough to stay healthy, active, strong. All I do is lie in bed, sit behind the computer, play Fable on my Xbox, read my new book about the Chernobyl disaster. I know I’m not moving enough, but somehow that is superhard to do, but I don’t get it.

I know I like exercise, I know I feel better, I know I’ll be in better shape, and what do I do? The complete opposite of what I should do! I noticed I gained weight and I feel heavy. I haven’t been to Jiu Jitsu training for 3 weeks now (there was a holidayweek, one evening I was too tired and late from work and last week I didn’t go because of my jaw/dental surgery). But Jiu Jitsu, is not enough. I need to extend my exercise.

  • I dont want to grow fat
  • I need to take care of my health
  • Its better to exercise more because I like to be active and I want to do things I need a good condition for
  • I would like to be in shape.

So WHY, am I not doing anything about that. Why?

Upcoming winter, I would like to go on ski holidays. I’ve been wanting this for over 10 years, yet I never went. I could never find anyone to go with me, and I was not brave enough to go by myself. This time I found someone. I will go with my love.

So I guess I should better go and take some lessons. I’m looking for them now. There are no mountains over here, so I will go to some indoor class. I guess I should do that. But I have no endurance, strenght or flexibility I guess – my body isn’t in shape at all. This is something I will have to do alone, since love is far away from me and I don’t know anyone else who would like to learn to ski or join me. So, something to work on. I know I can do it, but it’s a bit of a challenge.

I also wanted to follow French classes, to be able to speak in love’s country. To be able to have a change to find a job and work in that country, so we can live together one day. Yet all I did was listen and try some youtube videos. I looked for a course but it only starts in february, so I will have to wait before I sign up. This will be a challenge too, next to my job.

Oh about the job. My contract ends this week, but last week I learned that I will have an extention untill april 2016. That’s quite some time. I’m happy, but at the same time work will ask a lot from me, it will be busy, I will work fulltime (there’s not much chance to get less hours, you have to have a very good reason for it, like children or studying, and I don’t have this in their eyes).

I’m also pissed of with my job, because I wanted to go with Christmasholidays to my love. I asked off in August. It was somehow difficult to give an answer, so I asked if there was another option to go in November and work with Christmas holidays, but no reply. And now I got an answer, but all flights are :

  • superexpensive (3times normal price)
  • or with 3 stopovers so the travel takes up till 25 hours while just one flight of 1h30 minutes is enough to get there.

I didn’t book yet. I don’t know what to do. Money isnt everything, but I’m annoyed by this and I don’t want to have a 25h travel- too exhausting.

So far so good, that’s how my life is at the moment.