Breathing in and breathing out

I’m cold, alone. I’m just a person on my own. Nothing means a thing to me, oh nothing means a thing to me.

But how can it hurt when nothing means a thing? That’s just how I feel. It’s just how I feel.
That was how I felt. Just how it felt. That was yesterday, and now it’s time to move on.

I’m “busy” with preparations for ‘the move’.
I want to do it slowly and peaceful, because I have a hard time hanging on to life.

But, of course, I don’t get this space. Others pulling at me and trying to decide my schedule. I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS.
They don’t understand depression. They don’t understand apathy. They don’t give me the space. They don’t listen. It’s my life. My place. My move. it’s MINE.

But it doesn’t look like that. I can’t fight it, I’m too tired. Everyone has opinions about how I should do it and when and whatever.

. My opinion doesn’t matter. My schedule doesn’t matter. My pace doesn’t matter. My peace of mind appearantly doesn’t matter. And so on, and on. And with all these things, I cant help myself but get the message that I do not matter.

I’m glad I will move, and live on a distance from all those people. All I wanted is this to be a nice proces. BUt it’s taken from me. Taken like so much more.

I can’t talk about it. They don’t understand. We will get a fight.

I’m tired. I’m sick of this. Angry too.

I feel like i want to dissapear.

Just be a void, float in the air, emptiness hurts, a void can hurt too, but some moments I so badly wish I could float in nothingness. Makes sense right?

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