Probably, I look like a ‘normal person’. Probably, there’s nothing to see.
But inside my head, things are exploding: too much stress, too much going on, and I can’t handle it.
It feels like I have no support at all, and I’m on my own.
I can’t fall back on anyone. I have to deal with it myself, whatever it is.
I want that everything leaves me alone. There is too much to deal with.
Everything feels like fighting a new war. And one war hasn’t ended, and there’s the next one.
I am tired. I don’t feel good. I don’t know what to do, or where to rest.
I can not get rest. I can not find it.
I guess things are shitty anyway, and there is always a temporary relief.
But it comes back, sooner or later. And there I go again.
Into the depths and traps of the low world, of the dark, painfull world that no one can see.
That no one can see, except me.