Another meaningless weekend

And so it continues.

It’s nothing new, so I shouldn’t be surprised, but it’s still stinging somewhere that it happens. Everything turns into this world of numbness again, of emptiness, a void. Maybe depression is slowly taking over again, I don’t know.

The days go by, but they don’t say anything to me. I just go to work, and let my free days pass by; nothing matters, there is no impulse or want to do or go anywhere, so what happens is that I stay inside, in my room, trying to pass the time somehow. I watched a few series, I usually do not watch series, but now I just watch them to distract my mind.

Work is going okay, it has been busy again and I had a review from my coach on my work. I expected to hear some points that I had to work on, but there were not really. My coach seemed satisfied and told me to keep continuing like this. The most important point that I have to work on is take care of my breaks.(I don’t take enough breaks). I’m aware of that – usually my break in the afternoon dissapears, because it’s usually so busy and so much to do that I just grab a drink and continue with my tasks.

At work, there was an e-mail going around that said to let know about your preferences with working hours and days to the manager. I’ve been staring at the email and could not decide anything. So I didn’t reply on it. It doesn’t make sense for me; my freetime doesn’t make sense neither. These are just empty days that dont say anything.
Yeah, I think it would be so much nicer to work one day less, but right now, what point would that have? I don’t do anything with these days, I don’t do anything with my days off; I don’t go anywhere. So I guess I just keep working.

No work sucked, I just sat at home doing nothing.

Work’s okay, and still sitting at home doing nothing.

What kind of creature am I? Why am I not doing anything with my time off?

WHere the heck are my wishes, dreams, wants?

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