I called in sick, and it makes me feel bad.

For a couple of days now, I’m not really well. I spend the whole weekend mostly in bed, sleeping a lot. One night, I vomitted, six or seven times, it kept me up all night. Seriously, vomitting is gross and it can make you feel so miserable. Yuck. Anyway, so far a day without vomitting, so that’s the good thing.  When I woke up this morning, I doubted to go to work or not. My tongue was all white and yellow, and it burned a bit. (Eew, sorry for the details). I never saw that before.

So first, of course, with dr. Google, but all I could find was that related to 1- coffee or alcohol (what I rarely drink) 2- Bad mouth care (I brush my teeth at least twice a day and I use mouth water) and 3 -smoking (I don’t smoke) and 4- dehydration (which is not the case). My tongue looks like a map of another planet, with deep craters. First reaction was try to brush it off, but that didn’t work.

Anyway, in the end, I decided to call in sick. I really do not want to call in sick, because it makes me feel bad about myself. But I felt myself standing shaky on my legs, and if I don’t take care of my health it could get worse. So, I called. 1- phonecall to work, to say I will not come in today.  A nice person picked up, scheduled me sick, so that went fine. 2- phonecall to the job agency to say I’m sick. I dreaded this, I never called in sick before so I didn’t know how it works exactly, and the papers that I read about the procedures make me almost faint. But, phonecall went fine. 3- After 30 minutes of doubts, I made a phonecall to the doctor, about my tongue. I said I didn’t know if it was something serious or not, explained the thing, got an appointment this morning.

So I went to the doctor. I explained, the doctor looked at my tongue. It’s probably because of my illness, it shows a low health or something, the tongue seems to be sensitive. So far no need for medication, just if its not better or gone in two days, I will have to call to get some antibacterial stuff to rinse it with.

You know, I never know when to call the doctor, and now I almost felt bad that I called for something ‘not serious’. For some people this seems to be so obvious and clear, but it is so unclear to me. And everytime I call and go and there’s nothing special, I almost feel guilty when I go to the doctor with something ‘not serious’. And now I got back, and I feel guilty that I called in sick at work. I feel like a wussy. That I should push harder. But I also have to take care of myself, right? Take care that I do not get sick. Meh. Why is this making my soul so mixed up.

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