sad outlooks

Unfortunately, my grandma abroad doesn’t seem to be doing so well. There seems to be some kind of virus going around in the hospital where she is, and two people have already died from it. My grandma is already very weak because of her illnesses, and she doesn’t seem to get much better. She gets two times a day antibiotics, but she still has fever and it doesn’t look good. She already has this fever for over a week.

Today, things got scary. She is getting a blood transfusion. She’s weak. And it’s scary, because the doctor asked for the family to gather there tomorrow. Which is a scary message. What does this mean? Does this mean they expect her to die?

I’m sad. Sad for my grandma, who had such a rough life, and she goes to hospital to reload and recharge and then this happens. I’m sad too, for my mom. Who is too far away, can’t do anything, and if something happens she’s probably not there in time. My mom had a heavy life too, and I know it is hard for her to be far away from her family. I know she feels guilty, because she’s not there. Because she was “too late” when my grandfather, her dad, died. Because she didn’t go see her mom with Christmas, only because of money and because she was so tired from her work. She is almost blaming herself. This makes me sad. There is nothing to blame my mom for. And I’m sad, for my aunt, for my niece, for my uncle, because they recently lost their mother in law/grandmother/mother.

They don’t deserve this.

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