The last few days I’ve been feeling quite depressed. I still do not feel great, though there’s a bit space to breathe right now: I got the job!
This afternoon I had a missed phonecall (was in the car) and I saw the number and I knew who it was. This could mean two things: I was rejected or I would get hired. *panic*. After 20 minutes I decided to call back. The lady asked me how the interview went, so I told her that I felt really bad after it and that it didn’t was so great in my eyes. Then she said: Well, they thought different about that. *HUH?*.
Yeah, they want to give me a contract. Next week I will have to sign. I will start in the 2nd week of March and I will have a job untill the 2nd week of May. So it’s temporary, but it’s something right. I hope I can get some financial space again – I hope the training for this job goes well and I can do it, because even if I sign, there’s nothing sure of course and there is always this period of trial, or however you say that in English.
I’m not sure how I feel now. I’m afraid a bit I can’t do this job, I’m not smart enough, or things like that.
So. Other thing I went today is to a specialist for compression stockings for my ‘sick’ leg. I went to another person, because I didn’t like the previous one very much (she gave me wrong information and she would give me my measures of the last years at least 3 times but I never got them). This new lady was someone with a lot of experience in this field and she asked for the history, so I told her the story about my leg (Erisypelas, Thrombosis, and the pulmonary embolism after) and that I started wearing this thing very late, because no doctor told me about this, and I had to figure out myself about the need of a compression stocking and such, and that I had a lot of questions still. Parts of my leg swell if I don’t wear this thing and the color of my leg is different, also I have some minor issues with my toe. She explained to me that this is internal damage. But I never had a proper check in this, is beacuse of the healthcare system – the insurance system wants to put everything in systems and you get so much money and things for a ‘patient’, so this means limited things. Aand this confirmed my thoughts – you can not assume you get the care you need. They should have checked me properly in the beginning, but they didn’t even mention this to me, and the checks I had I mostly asked for myself. As well, in the beginning I really didn’t know what to do because I didn’t know anything about this. It’s sad that you get sick you can’t believe and trust the doctors opinions.
Well, I will never get rid of this compression stocking – but I can live with that, it’s what I thought myself already somehow. It doesnt look sexy, but I do not dare to let it of, I am very scared that I get issues with it again and I really don’t want this. Luckily, I took the right decisions in the past to keep wearing these things, even if the doctor told me I could leave it off after two years. This lady, the specialist, told me it was very wise of me not to do so, that I didn’t listen to the doctor, because of these blue spots- she said that this is a sign of internal damage , and especially because I had both ‘worse things’ – erysipelas and thrombosis, I probably have double damage – the vessels and the lymphatic system) and It might be bigger then we think. I will also keep the same compression pressure class, because its safer. This means; expensive, handmade stockings. I can only have 2 a year, not more (this is not enough- the power decreases, its the same if you have to do a whole year with only 2 pair of socks ). But the insurance doesnt allow – they dont care if you need it or not. The stupidest thing is that I actually end up paying myself because of the ‘own risk’ policy. And these things are not cheap at all. But since I will have a job now, it will be a little bit easier.
But the good news so far; I’m going to try a new brand, AND this brand I was able to choose a color! This wasn’t possible with the old ones, they are ugly brownish, I felt a bit old with these things, but okay, in summer it’s not so obvious and some people notice it very late that I have something on my leg, so far that’s good. But I get a black one too now! I’m superexited about this. The lady said they paint it, and that this paint actually keeps it more stiff for a longer time in comparison to the not painted one, whcih is good for the pressure. So I’m really exited about trying these new compression stocking out! It’s maybe stupid to be exited about, but somehow it makes me a little bit happier.