Overwhelming sadness

220120155088

Suddenly, I feel an overwhelming sadness.

This jobsearching isn’t so easy, it takes a lot of my energy.

And you can not just trust what people say to you.

I don’t understand why the world is like this, why a job is more of a very competative sportscompetition. Why the place where I live is so crappy because with asking for benefits they make your life like hell. Like if its your choice to be unemployed and dont have any income. The things they ask from you, want to see from you.

if you’re already low or vulnerable, it will push you to the ground again.

Why is it so difficult just to survive, just to live, when it doesnt even seem you have a right on some basic income stuff ? I don’t know where to go for help. I don’t know if I can hang on with this. I just need peace. I just need a bit of money, I don’t need so much. I don’t want a new tv or fancy stuff. I just need a bed, a place where I can withdraw, some food, some clothes. My head is racing. I try to stop it. Stop these thoughts.

I just want peace. Oxygen. Space to breathe. Not these competitive attacks. Not these you dont work so you are to blame questionaries, like youre a criminal.

words. fail.

i can.t breathe.

properly.

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Overwhelming sadness

  1. The answer is the world sucks. Ha, ha. It feels like it, right? In a way, I know just how you feel. I dont think it was so pressured like this even 10 years ago and I felt pressure then too. I checked the mail to find three huge envelopes from disability. I am unsure what one does for disability benefits there but here it is pretty overwhelming. You’d think they would try to make it as easy as possible for someone struggling, but that’s just it, you have to prove you need the help and that you are struggling. I guess this is to deter someone from defrauding the system but it doesn’t quite make sense still. It can be so overwhelming and hard to be floundering in life. Especially when you look around and everyone is busy doing this and that. I also know how easy it can be to feel good about things, only for your mood to plummet and feel depressed or just stressed out. I feel like I’m on a constant rollercoaster most days and some days it feels like I’m gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe. Or like molasses. Heavy and hard to move and you just get stuck. But remember we are most hardest on ourselves and to not be so critical of yourself or the sitch at hand. Sometimes taking things literally one step at a time is the only solution. And you can vent to your followers or me anytime!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s