Fears

Today I got confronted with something that gets me from time to time. And I am not sure how to deal with these things; I’m not so good in it.

Somehow, I seem to be quite sensitive for the feelings, emotions and worries of others. I don’t like this because it can really affect my  mood and it can give me lots of anxiety and stress. Seriously, I wish I could be more neutral and keep these things a bit more on a distance, but I don’t know how.

THings like this happened before, and it makes me think that in case of emergency, I will be totally useless because I will freak out. I don’t know, it’s just what I think.

My dad, a guy who always works and never called in sick, seems scared today. He had some physical issue today which makes him worried and affraid. And this , gives me anxiety too, and it worries me. Nothing is clear yet about what is ‘wrong’, he will have to go see a doctor first. Maybe nothing is wrong, maybe there is. Reading about things what it could be doesn’t make it better for sure.

But these things trigger something inside of me. It’s not only this situation; this happens in other situations too. And I wonder why am I so sensitive to it? Why do I feel so much anxiety, stress and chaos inside of me that I (feel like) I can not act normal and I’m too stressed. How are you supposed to deal with things? What do these things cause in you? How do you act?

It’s similar when someone else is sad. Somehow these emotions get me.

If you can, and want to, please share your thoughts or experiences or knowledge if you like. This is really bothering me and I would appreciate it very much  to hear some other thoughts, opinions or experiences . Thanks in advance.

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4 thoughts on “Fears

  1. Something that comes up as a regular theme in my therapy is my sensitivity to the experiences of others; hyper-empathy. It sounds like we have this in common. Dr T advises me to first allow myself to experience whatever emotions I’m picking up from someone else, give them space to ‘be’ so I don’t store them up to cause trouble later, and when I’m ready reflect on how much of these emotions I really need to take on at a given time. (But to be perfectly honest I tend to forget all of that when I’m in the middle of feeling someone else’s pain)

    Usually I can still act normal because luckily in times of need I can compartmentalise quite well, but this is why I got so overwhelmed last weekend when my relative fell ill; I could feel her fear and embarrassment so strongly that I froze, and I was ashamed of that.

    I’d pay big money for a fix or a cure, and funnily enough I even said in therapy on Wednesday that I really wished I could ‘turn it off’. Mais non.

    • Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m “happy” (this is not the right word actually) to know I’m not the only one with this issue, though it would be nicer when it wasn’t there at all. I wish too there was a cure.

      Do you also keep these feelings or emotions or whatever they are exactly for such a long time? They don’t dissapear in 10 minutes here, they can last very long. And it’s deep, somehow. I don’t know but sometimes I can really sense the pain or the fear or whatever someone has so well, that it’s almost like my own.

      I guess I freeze too, but inside everything is boiling, but I’m not sure ‘how to get it out’. It is so strong that it’s really hard to do something about it – I wouldn’t even know where to start, because this ‘freezing’ seems to block everything.

      • *Hugs* you’re definitely not alone.

        It varies by the situation, but all too often these emotions linger for days. It’s so hard to shake it off, and then I get angry at myself and everything gets amplified.

        I wish my brain had a little tap or plug I could pull to let this stuff drain out.

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