Sometimes time doesn’t seem to be passing; and it’s like everything is standing still, or moves forward in a pace that even the slowest animal on the world seems a high speed.
It’s like a breeze that blows the plants, flowers and grass from left to right, but the speed of the breeze is not even possible to measure and you almost don’t see any movements, but you notice it’s in a different position.
Suddenly, it’s almost time to go. I’ve been waiting for this for 2 months, and now it is there really close; the weird thing is that it has faded away and it doesn’t seem real anymore, I can’t grasp it, I can’t feel it, I seem numb.
Printing my boarding pass, packed my clothes, my toothpaste, my hairbrush. My bag stands lonely against the wall, waiting for me to pick it up.
It almost seems unreal.
In my head, I can see myself taking the train. Getting a few hours of sleep. Get up, on a very early morning, dress, pack my stuff and go to the airport in the cold. Maybe it will be spooky, like the last few days; lots of fog. Maybe there will be snow and ice – but hopefully the weather circumstances will not be that way and not deregulate the public transport.
And then I will fly. Fly to the person I love. And I don’t know, my feelings seem frozen (makes me sad and feel bad about myself somehow – but I can’t do anything about it- it seems far and distant.).
I can’t wait to defreeze again.