Decision time

I’m going to quit this. I just can’t take it anymore.

I can not work like this here, there are too many issues. I tried to talk about it so many times, but it leads to nothing. And things are adding and adding. I can’t bear it anymore. I always get my food money too late, and now it seems to became even less (which makes no sense) and it is frustrating me too much. I can not even find the energy to fight it.

Im waiting for the moment that I can finally get to speak to the person in charge here.

But I’m done. It’s over. I’m exhausted.

It is no good to stay like this here. Its affecting my health. My sanity (for as far I am sane). This is not helping me in life. The opposite happens; i’m slipping away and getting more depressed. I guess it has a good side as well, because I choose for myself; this is my limit, and no matter what others say, I choose this.

I don’t know how it will continue. Where I will end up in the upcoming time.

I have a few places where I can sleep, though I’m not sure for how long.

But I will have to find a way to earn some money and don’t fall apart.

It’s hard.My heart stings like hell. I feel awful.

But I know this is inevitable.

I can not take this anymore.

I can’t.

I can;t.

 

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4 thoughts on “Decision time

  1. This choice was in the air. And it’s a good choice, rather than accepting bad conditions. But I understand what you try now. I’m so sorry..
    What will you do?
    You know, if you need a place where sleep or eat, you’re welcome in my home.

    • Thanks. I know deep inside it was the right choice, but it feels bad. I’m almost turning 31 now and I never been so messed up and lost in life. There doesn’t seem anything left. I don’t know what I will do. First I have to move some of my stuff and prepare for leaving this place and for the official ending and blablabla. I don;t want to turn back to the country where I come from, and I will probably spend some more time in this area, consider head back to Montenegro to spend a bit time more there in the mountains in a place with nice people I met last time and I know I can go there for a little while. But after that? I’m not sure. I should find a job somewhere or something, but well you know that is really hard.

      Thanks again, I really appreciate your offer. And to be honest, I have been thinking about it lately, to go to Italy and to visit you. And that is not only because I need a place to sleep!

      • Well, I imagined that you didn’t want to go back to your country.
        And if you met nice people in the mountains, good choice returning there. I don’t know the job situation, but I think it is very bad, like in many countries. I hope that this fucking life can turn well for you.

        I won’t repeat it anymore to don’t be boring, but you know, if you want/need..just write me 🙂

      • Yes, the job situation is bad everywhere I think, and there is something about me or my personality that is not helpful to find one either. But first I need to move my stuff away from here and arrange some things, have this issue what happened earlier (assault/court stuff) behind me and I’m not sure how things will go, but I’ll definitely remember your offer and I will be in touch when the time comes 🙂

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