No signs needed

As the road turned left

into an endless sea of mountains

and where the goats

rule the roads

the asphalt collapsed partly

in to the river down

and the continues stream of traffic

even if rarely,

became impossible

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Reversed

it’s dark outside

the moon is the only one around

the only visible thing

because the stars are hidden in the clouds

the world seems asleep

but I’m wide awake

though I shouldn’t be.

 

Outside the sun starts the day

birds come alive

the world starts to move and finds a way

except for me

because it’s dark inside.

 

My system is broken,

now I’m covered in the clouds.

Today, my heart lets me down

Invisible tears are streaming down my face

My head hangs down

Depression doesn’t know any grace,

My heart aches and I’m so tired

where I also have let myself down next to all of that

and my body decided to have my soul fired.

(and yeah, it worked.)

 

How can I hang on? How can I hold on.

I don’t want to be here like this, I can not be here like this.

I am a stranger to the people I know

The people I know are strangers to me

Connections are broken,

and broken are the connections.

I wish I could hide my heart away

it is empty, it is lost

and showing signs of decay.

 

snapshots and broken thoughts

Tattooed inside my brain

Been trying to erase some parts,

but sometimes I can’t seem to bear

these thoughts about you

can’t bear to read

or see something

that reminds me of you

These memories – sometimes almost killing me.

 

Once things were different

We used to talk, we used to speak

We used to write, but time turned weak

well, not only time, things changed

And they will never be, the same

(but I don’t want them to be)

 

The impact you had on me

in several ways

is drifting away

but memories come back at certain days.

 

I realize that

I never really knew you after all

and maybe we were never even really friends

since it was hidden behind this hole with walls

 

The more I used to think about it

The more confusing it would be

But distance changes things

And feelings always block the things to see.

 

Sometimes I feel bad

that I decided to cut the contact.

And try to erase you out of my life

but then again

True, it’s maybe not fair that I made it one way

but I guess the contact was one sided anyway

because you would decide

when and how and what and…

oh well, maybe it doesn’t really matter anymore.

 

Guess I’ll never really understand

but you maybe wouldn’t say.

The inside cracks lost hope and sense it all

where little time turns into days.