….or did I never found a way?
This change of my life – the moving abroad, ‘ starting’ something else, going to a place where no one knows me and I am distant from all the previous things ‘ connected’ to my life – ……………silence.
I wish I could express better but I can not find words nor sentences nor can I draw or sing (but then again never ask me to sing!) or show or whatever how one could or can express – I just can’t.
I don;t know if this is facing reality or facing truth again or that I am caught in another prison of depression what tricks my mind and captures my soul (if I even have it) and things are getting complicated and I guess all these things are starting to affect my physical health – I assume these things are causing my health troubles lately. Does this mean I’m in danger? Does this mean that I’m dying? Does this mean that there is something even worse going to happen to me if I can not stop this?
But then again, I don’t know how to stop this. I can not find my way. I can not find a way. I do not even know who I am. What I want. What I like. Drifting away, and more and more.
I see the shore, I’m floating in the see. It does not matter how hard I try to reach the shore, something will never allow me to reach it. No matter what I do, how long I try, how much I try. There is something. A something that is hard to define. But it’s there.
Where does this end?
What is an end?
And even if it’s this…