A couple of days ago I went to the gym. The gym has a couple of tv’s hanging on the wall. I don’t really watch tv since I don’t have it myself, but when I am in the gym, I see a bit of what is broadcasted. Especially the cardio workout machines, are all pointing at the tv screens, so even if you don’t want to watch, there is always a moment that your eye will meet some images on the screen.
So I was running on the treadmill and there was bobsleigh on tv (olympics). While running/walking I was watching it a bit. I saw the people going down with the bobsleigh, saw how happy they were with their results. Suddenly something in me snapped. A small stream of water was running down my cheeks. What? Am I crying? (Crying is rare for me, I never really cry). But there was a small stream on my face. I felt it, I touched it. It was there. (Maybe it’s not something you can really call crying I guess, since it was just the stream of tears on my cheek, but I have no idea how to call that.) Anyway, it felt very uncomfortable. Carefully I checked the corners of my eyes if anyone saw what happened, but everyone seemed to busy with their own workout – luckily. How do you explain something like that? Makes no sense. The gym is one of the last places I want to start crying.Well, I don’t want to cry at all I guess.
There wasn’t even a reason. I turned my head away from the bobsleigh. 30 minutes later I was cycling. Icehockey was on. I felt the same thing starting to happen. So I turned my head away from the tv, ended my exercise and went for a long shower – not many people use the showers at the gym, so I had the space to myself. Nice warm shower this time. Warm rain. Warm tears streaming all over my body. And all I could do, being numb, feeling the stream of warm tears going over my body and watch them dissapear in the shower drain.