A picture of a camel being slaughtered. A picture of a swine screaming just seconds before its killed/attacked by a tiger. A picture of a person who is shot. A picture of someone lying on the streets and lots of blood. A clip on tv where a zebra is attacked by lions. And so on, and on, and on. I don’t want to describe those happenings in detail too much.
Sometimes, pictures, or clips, or videos showing people or animals suffering, in pain, killed, whatever. And you don’t have to search for it in particular, sometimes they just appear in front of you without having to ask for it.
A couple of days it happened to me again. And no, I wasn’t particulary searching for these images to see. They were part of something else, and I didn’t have a clue it would be part of it, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched at it. I don’t want to see those things. I’m aware enough to know and realize these things happen, but I do not wish to see them. I’ve seen enough bad things or things that make me feel sad, and it affects me. After having seeing one of those things a couple of days ago, it kept going in my mind and kept me from falling to sleep. I don’t know why, but they affect me. I imagine the feelings that such a situation gives, if it’s for animals or people, doesn’t make much difference I guess. I wonder how people can just keep taking pictures and showing it to the whole world and be proud of that ‘shot’ and such. Or why certain things – like war, killing and stuff like that- just keeps happening.
Am I weak that I can not bear those images and videos? Is there something wrong with me they affect me and make me feel bad? Is this reaction, are these thoughts or feelings, what the person who posted that/made the article/videoclip wanted? Am I being oversensitive?
It is hard to remember if those things always affected me like they do know. I can not remember that, but I know for sure I never really liked it to see those things and would just turn my head. I know, okay, I know, I don’t want to be confronted with things like that all the time. I try to not harm people or animals which come across my path in life what way and I will try to make any harm as less as possible if I can not avoid that.
Though I have a lot of mixed feelings about these things. Because I do harm sometimes, I am aware of that. For example, I do eat meat, but I don’t like that animals have a bad life because they are in some fast forward feeding process trying to make them ready for consumption as soon as possible and killed. And so much more of these (sometimes even little) things.
What is it, that these things bother me suddenly so much? What is it, that they affect the way I feel so much lately? What is wrong with me? Why can’t I seem to live with that idea or deal with it one way or another?
What do you do, when you are confronted or involved with those kind of things?