Sometimes there are these battles you have to take care of, because of certain monsters try to mess up with your sleep. They can appear in / take many forms. Sometimes they steal your sleep, disturb your sleep, hold you from sleeping at all…sometimes they turn into monsters who keep you sleeping all the time. Monsters who hold you back from being in the real world, or hold you back from wanting to be part in the real world. It’s such a battle. Sleeping, not sleeping. Everything around sleep seems a battle. Insomnia. Oversleeping. Sleeeeep. My relationship with sleep (or not sleeping) is a complicated one, and it keeps changing from not sleeping to oversleeping and everything in between. Sometimes I think that sleep is one of the most beautiful things on earth/in life, but it has a very sad side too I guess; I use it to pass time, to cope with life, and there are times I feel so sad I just crawl away in bed and try to sleep as much as I can, and sometimes that ends up with sleeping around 15 hours a day (if not more.)
And somehow, when you need or want to sleep the most, there are always things that make that impossible for you and hold you back from getting the amount of sleep you wish/need. Also, it is hard or the most crazy things happen that you will wake up often.
Normally nobody ever needs you but of course on days like these, people want something from you and you hear your name with a lot of decibels coming from down the stairs….Or when you are finally asleep, there is someone or something that makes so much noise you wake up again and fail to fall asleep again….
Somehow for the previous days (maybe even weeks) my I can’t get no sleep turned into a I want to sleep more and more and more. And I could easily end up spending whole days in bed.I feel like I would want to, but in no way I get a chance to do so. Suddenly, everybody around me seems to need me at times I want to sleep. Want things from me at times I want to sleep. And when I want to sleep, they even wake me up, because THEY think I should not sleep. That pisses me off and makes me feel very disturbed. But also, when I try to get some sleep, I never feel relaxed enough to fall in a deep sleep. It’s like something in me is always on guard:
Even the pillow can turn into some dangerous creature and turns into a pillowmonster who is able to eat you in your sleep.
And even more pillowmonsters…..you can run and you can try to hide, but they will always find you in your dreams.
And if the pillowmonsters aren’t chasing you, the coral-from-the-sea monster with one shoe is chasing you: waaaaaaaaaaahhhh.
And if the coral-from-the-seamonster isn’t there, the peanutmonster will go after you.
And and and……….
the world of sleeping is over again.