Yesterday I discovered a message in a sweater I bought recently. (Of course a hooded one, as that seems to be some kind of basic need in my life, that sounds weird I know. But somehow I can not imagine me without hooded sweaters. I’m not sure why that is.)
Didn’t notice it before, but somehow I was a bit intrigued by what was written inside. It’s nothing really special, but somehow it maybe does fit in to my life at the moment. Also I was intrigued by a few other things I saw lately. Last week I got caught up in reading and seeing pictures about Mt. Everest expeditions, and yesterday I saw the trailer of this movie called ‘desert runners’ which you can find here if you are interested to see: http://www.desertrunnersmovie.com/. Next to these two things, there are more ‘kind of related’ things that cause that something inside of me. But I’m not going to mention them all right now.
Somehow those things move something inside me, deep far away in my heart. It’s never there for long, and it never lasts long, and it’s not so strong, but something is there. But there is definately something ‘about those things’. Though I am not exactly sure what it is. Maybe pushing limits, see how far you can go, testing yourself, and sometimes being in a world where life and death and fear and joy are very close. It’s a bit hard do describe somehow. There are these times I can never seem to find the right words to find what I actually wish to say. But I guess this is all I can do/write/say right now.
This was the text that belonged to an attached label.
I guess somewhere far away deep inside me there is something that asks for some kind of attention and action. Maybe a small part inside of me does know what it wants – just partly- in life. It’s just confusing. Maybe it’s just a far away dream and never going to be reality. Maybe those things are just a kind of fata morgana inside my brain in this dark world that traps me.
Thinking about these things, this part of a song by 3 doors down called ‘When I’m gone’ popped up into my mind.:
There’s another world inside of me
That you may never see
There’re secrets in this life
That I can’t hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There’s a light that I can’t find
Maybe it’s too far away…
Or maybe I’m just blind…